did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
