I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
