Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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