Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Randomize
