He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
