you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
