she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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