Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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