You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Soap is not a condiment
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
