we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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