Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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