the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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