I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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