my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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