What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
