I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
