That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Randomize
