Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
