you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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