That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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