why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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