I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
