I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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