My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
