And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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