i already hear my dad disowning me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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