Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
