I cannot find my penis.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
