he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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