Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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