Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
