are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
