i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize