dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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