I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize