i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
