i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
