There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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