After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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