What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
