I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
