Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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