i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
