told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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