New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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