Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
