we're chasing vodka with high fives
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
