if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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