Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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