I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
