Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
