And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
