We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
