Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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