I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
