I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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