i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
