Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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