You made me cry and you don't even care
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
