He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
