Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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