Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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