hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
one two three fourrrrnication!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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