Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
