I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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