All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
