I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
